It is the small steps on the way to our larger goals that make up the path we walk to our destination. Want to be healthier? Start by drinking more water. Want to be happier? Start by listing the things you appreciate in your life.
There are so many things on my "to do" list. Sometimes I can't figure out where to start. Some of my goals seem nearly unattainable because there are so many steps between where I am now, and where I want to be. Sometimes the first step is the hardest. The first step can be the scariest. I always hear people use the phrase "afraid of success." I never understood that phrase. Why would someone be afraid of success? Maybe because they wouldn't know where to go from there?
For example. I want to go to U.W. I want to get my Bachelor's Degree and eventually my Master's in Teaching. I want to serve two years in the Peace Corps. I want to join TWB (Teacher's without borders.) What if I go to U.W. and get my degree, but I can't find a job? What if I can't find a job and I can't pay for my student loans? I guess that is what people could mean when they say someone was "afraid of success?" I don't know. I don't think about it like that.
I look at it more from the perspective of, what have I got to lose? If I go to U.W. and I get my degree and I never get the job I want, or serve in the Peace Corps, or travel with TWB. I can still never replace the experiences I will get from having gone to a 4 year University and gained an Education. Yes, its expensive. I am certainly not guaranteed a job after I graduate.
But, I don't want to live a life where I only walk along a trail, knowing exactly where it leads. Where is the fun in that? I might go to U.W. and find a passion for something I never knew I had. After all, certainly there are a million things I don't know anything about. I mean, I started Pierce thinking I wanted to be a Journalist. Ended up focusing on English, and now I want to major in Sociology. If I had never gone to Pierce because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, I wouldn't have realized my interest, or ability in these other areas.
Even if I go to school and get my degree and I never land a job making more than I make now. No one can take my education from me. Even if I die still owing Sallie Mae for those student loans, I don't care! What does it matter then anyway right?
I didn't even sit down to write about school. I started out on a whole different thought pattern. I have been thinking a lot lately about whether or not I still wanted to go to U.W. I knew I still wanted to go to school, but the cost has given me pause. Not to mention, I take the bus through the campus every day and see all these 18-20 year olds and wonder if I am too old. If it will be strange to be surrounded by all these kids...But there is no acceptable age to stop learning so there is no such thing as "too old" for school.
I hope to have some exciting things to share regarding my writing very soon. I will keep you posted :) For now, this letter to myself (as it turns out) comes to a close. Byeeeee! Feel free to share your thoughts!!
No comments:
Post a Comment